My hands are full

It is naptime and, for now, the house is quiet. I did just see the mailman walk by the house across the street so it is highly likely that things are about to get noisy once Paco hears him come within 50 yards of our house. Hopefully, the girls will sleep through!

Vivien just turned a month old and today was just the third day that I have attempted to get out of the house to run a few errands with both girls. On Monday, we left to go to the post office to get an estimate on shipping for selling my breastpump on Ebay. As we pulled into the parking lot, I did a little bit of quick figuring in my mind to determine the best way to get Vivien, Amity, and the rather large box into the post office without anyone getting hurt or left behind. At first I pulled out Amity's stroller and put Vivien in the sling. I then realized that I had no free hands to hold the box. So, I excitedly told Amity that she was going to get to be a big girl and WALK all by herself since I had no free hands to hold her hand. We carefully and slowly walked through the parking lot (I was prepared to drop the box to grab her if she became in danger!) and all went well until Amity froze up at the curb. She is still very hesitant about curbs, especially really high ones. I did a big pep talk and she made it up on her own but not without losing a shoe. Ugh! I carefully bent down so as not to dump Vivien out of her sling as well as trying cover up any immodesty that might pop up from my too-big-but-everything-else-is-too-small jeans. Once the shoe was replaced, I somehow made it back to standing still holding Vivien and the box. We made it into the store, waited in line, got our estimate (UPS was actually cheaper!), and headed slowly back to the car. A sweet lady with a baby of her own was parked next to us and offered to hold the box for me so that I could open up the trunk. So thankful for common grace and unexpected kindness!

Yesterday, we went to my favorite store to grab a few groceries before heading to lunch at a friend's house. As we drove into the parking lot, I told Amity that she would have to sit in the cart the whole time but that I had brought some snacks for her to eat. I pray for extra immunity from grocery cart germs because I don't really know what else to do! Vivien hung out in the sling and Amity ate her apples (until she accidentally dropped the bowl and I had to retrace our steps to pick them up off the floor), fruit leather, cheerios, and cheese. Aside from a mini-fit about me not letting her hold the chicken (just didn't seem sanitary!), we were not the loudest people in the store and that was a success. Again, there was more kindness to be had as one of the workers that was headed out to his car stopped and volunteered to return the cart for me saying that I looked like I had "my hands full"!

Today, we had a whole list of places to go that were all close to our home. I left with the mindset that we would see how many things on that list we could accomplish without all three of us crying. We picked up Dennis's pants from the cleaners, stopped to get gas, and dropped off empty dishes at three friends' houses that had brought us meals. Then we headed to The Dollar Tree. I didn't fully think through the scenario and decided not to put Vivien in the sling and left her in her carseat instead. For the first time ever (never did this with Amity), I tried sitting the carseat on the basket of the cart. Of course, then I didn't know what to do with Amity so I told her that she needed to walk by the cart. After lovingly picking up a stuffed bunny, she obediently walked by the cart most of the time! A few times, I frantically grabbed her hand to keep her from touching the porcelain figurines and then I remembered that we were at the dollar store and even if she were to take out a whole shelf, it wouldn't devastate us financially! Vivien was rather fussy as we walked the aisles so she required one of my hands to keep her pacifier in most of the time. Mathematically, that should have left no hands to push the cart but somehow we made it through the store. As we waited in line to checkout, an older man and woman were behind us. They too commented that my hands were full.

Once in the car, I decided that we had made it successfully to everything but one stop on our list and I shouldn't push my luck but then, a minute later, I decided to go ahead and try. We headed to the library and there were no parking spots in our usual place so we had to park downstairs. Amity was thrilled about the stairs and, this time, I once again had Vivien in the sling so my hands were free. As soon as we walked into the very quietlibrary, Vivien let loose crying but her paci made her happy. Amity found the kids' area and sat at a little table to read a book while I found some books to put in her bag. After a few minutes, we went over to the DVD section and picked up a few Elmo and Clifford DVDs and then made it to the checkout counter. I asked Amity to put her hands on the counter while she waited for me AND SHE DID! She waited there while the lady scanned my card and the books and then the lady said (can you guess?), "It looks like you have your hands full!" As we left, I praised Amity for obeying and we prepared to go down the stairs (much more difficult than up!) and back to the car.

Vivien cried the whole way home and then Amity cried when I took Vivien out of the car first. Then Vivien cried in the swing while I got Amity's lunch ready. Then Amity cried as she waited for me to bring her lunch. As we held hands and prayed, I thanked God for His mercy and grace to us as I learn to make it with full hands.

I read this blog while feeding Vivien in the night and thought I needed to write all this down because I am sure that I will someday forget what it was like to go from one child to two. My hands are full though not as full as some of my friends and cousins! Having "full hands" can be tiring and humbling but I am reminded of other friends and family who would love to be in my place. I am thankful for this time and this stage of life and God's mercy and grace that accompanies it!